Tuesday, March 7, 2017

TMI - For Grandmothers!

My personal source of unfiltered info! From this chatty pair I've learned where
mommy hides the birthday gifts, which brother doesn't pick up his dirty socks,
and the identity of the kitty who licked the cupcake frosting! 








































TMI. That slangy acronym doesn't enjoy a friendly connotation - often with good reason. I've had "too much information" served to me in the form of a grandchild's graphic description of dismembered insects embedded in a pet's slimy hairball. Then there was that earful in the grocery store line last week - a teen age couple's vivid lament over plans gone awry when mom and dad came home early and "spoiled all the fun."

TMI masterpieces? In those unsettling instances? Clearly!

But I navigate daily life as a grandmother without cause for limiting the amount or depth of information I absorb on topics related to the nurturing of successful family relationships. There's no such thing as TMI in my pursuit of a well built nest feathered with respect, affirmation, and stability for all of us - adult children included. The skills I need to accomplish that formidable task don't always come free, rising to the occasion by instinct! I'm constantly on alert for a quick injection of tips, encouragement, and "Grandma TMI." Some of it I find useful, some I discard. But what a wealth of choice abounds when one knows exactly where to look!

My personal niche is fun - crafts and puppets and baking and scavenger hunts - but what good would it do to stuff closets with glitter and glue sticks if grandkids didn't come to play because mommy can't get along with grandma?.....

Advice from grandma bloggers to the rescue!

Sometimes the key to a solid relationship isn't just "communication." That's too often practiced as one-sided yabbering on disappointments, needs, and suggestions. There's "listening," too, says Lisa at Grandma's Briefs, acknowledging the adage that we're gifted with "two ears...one mouth" for a purpose! "I Say That Shutting Up is Hard to Do" woke me up in more than a few ways. It might be time to curb my voracious appetite for dispensing, and settle into....well, shutting up and listening!


Exchanging thoughts and feelings with adult children for the purpose of mutual understanding can be a "delicate dance," says Donne Davis of The GaGa Sisterhood. Drawing from the expertise of a panel of respected professionals, Davis offers a compelling case for relying on an arsenal of "sensitivity, empathy, patience, and a lot of practice" to build an emotionally safe place anchored with shared trust. I like the definitive check-off summary of usable strategies - no blah-blah-blah ambiguous meanderings here, at Learning the Boundaries of Communication!

14 comments:

  1. I just accept that my children and their spouses are smarter than I am and move on...when they want my advise, they do ask for it.

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  2. It's hard to know just how much to involve yourself in the lives of adult children. I try to let them take the lead. I find that as they mature they want to include me more and more.

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  3. LOL grandma just shut the he** up and bake the cookies, do the crafts and sneak in some advice here and there when they least expect it :)

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  4. Wait until you're asked is my mantra - then only answer what they asked - don't go running off at the mouth.

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  5. That is a difficult lesson to learn; don't give your opinion unless it's asked for. Sometimes I do well at keeping my mouth shut and other times it just slips out and I usually end up regretting it! So hard to stop giving your opinion when you gave it freely for all those years. But I'm still just a work in process.

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  6. Just want to add; those two sweet little girls are adorable!

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  7. Every day I ask:
    Dear Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and
    your hand over my mouth!
    Mimi

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  8. Those little ones are so cute! I have three boys and they often give me waaay more information than I wanted to know about their video games; but I do listen knowing one day the things they have to say to me will be important and I want them to know I will always listen... and try keep MOST of my advice to myself.... maybe!

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  9. Thank you for sharing this post at the #WednesdayAIM #LinkUp #BlogParty. I shared it on social media.

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  10. Hi Joyce,
    Your tag-line is funny-- Too much information for grandmothers.
    I met you at Grammy Dee's blog party. You wrote you liked the fellowship of other grandmothers. I have two granddaughters. I like the comraderie as well.
    Maybe you can check out my blog if you need any blogging tips. That's what I write about. I also have regular blog parties like Grammy held where you could grow your community.
    Janice

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  11. Interesting blog post and the comments are interesting - and entertaining too - happy grandma-ing.

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  12. Info passed on from young grandchildren is usually a hysterical conversation because you're trying not to laugh while they elaborate on the story they're telling. :-) The girls look so cute in their dance costumes. I remember those days with a smile. :-)

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  13. I am one of the lucky ones who gets along well with both my daughter and her amazing husband. It certainly makes it easier to have a good relationship with Amara! PS The girls look so cute!

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  14. Oh my goodness! They are so stinking cute! And what a wealth of information they are!

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